• There's nothing more endearing than the sound of a child coming out of a grown womans mouth. Both lyrically and musically. As much as I'm cringing in my seat and flinching every time she attempts a high note with all the enthusiasm and skill as a quaver being blown around in a slight breeze. And as much as I want to run out in the street pleading for everyone to save themselves, grab a pair of complimentary ear plugs from stand A, join queue B to redeem the free packed lunch provided, make way ( with haste) to queue C and get on the coach waiting to take them to the safe place where they will await further instruction.( Unfortunately everyone that heard what I heard will have to be sprayed in napalm) As MUCH as I want to do that is there really a difference between the din that is being forced upon me and whatever Katy Perry will spout out of her ' I'm a good little gospel girl dressed in latex singing about kissing girls just for shits and giggles' lipstick clad mouth? Sorry, Cherry Chapstick.  And I don’t mean endearing in a patronising ‘aaw bless her cotton socks’ sort of way. This is a rarity. I actually mean what I say ( no I do not suffer from gender dysphoria. I’m female ). So she sings about Venus and Mars. SO they’re 'worlds apart...two bodies one heart'. SO it has the literary devices of an eight year old being entered ( without consent)  for the ‘young writer of the borough’ award. But is there really a difference between that and the watered down, 0.01 mm in depth, here today HERE TOMORROW, pre water shed drivel that leaves a bad taste in your brain?
  • Dressed rather like a nurse, missing only the pocket watch. This singer/songwriter/musician/seemingly slightly mad is very aware of her audience and /or sound tech as we both know there isn’t always both. Reminiscent of a song by Beth Swain. Effortlessly soulful voice, nice lyrical content ‘not about me me me, not about more more more’. Unlike a certain ahemcoughSPLUTTERjessiegodieinaholenow J. ‘it’s not about the money money money THAT I NOW MAKE IN ABUNDANCE BY SINGING SONGS THAT DO NOT SHOW MY VOCAL ABILITY' ‘really Jessica?  Really!?  Back to lady dressed like a nurse. This third song sounds far too similar to anything I’ve heard in the past ten years (THANK YOU KATY MELUA or whatever your name) is to give it enough credit. The one other thing i would say about this song is. Listen audience participation is all well and good as long as you make sure you make clear when they should stop clapping.  Then you get that awkward ‘when do i stop clapping?’Iif I’m the first one I’m an un supportive asshole. If I’m the last one I’m the loud bastard with no manners. 
  • Yes people come and people go. End of.  A level. Prefect.  Gap year. FUCK OFF! It's wrong to judge in todays society, but who has the time not to. I sure as fuck dont. 
  • N.B for future reference flicking your eyes in a coy sort of way is only sexy if you realise what your flicking your eyes towards .THERES NOTHING IN THE LIGHT! Feel free to walk towards it though. Be my guest. I could go on about stage presence, audience connection, lyrical content, vocal ability , musicality and charm and the lack there of. But who has the time and/or energy.  I sure as fuck don’t.  Check?
  • There’s something incredibly emotive about electro -acoustic guitar that makes you want to be able to play.  Not just because you want to be a rockstar, but because the musicians themselves always look so happily content playing their guitar. In the same way that the Amott brothers seem like they’re giving their guitars an orgasm. Every time they play. ( they probably are lets be honest). If you don’t know who they are, make use of Google stop using it for porn and illegal downloads, stop reading this, listen, learn and resume.  
  • Sitting in the toilets  (after noticing how clean they were for Camden) I suddenly felt as if I had fallen asleep and woke up in an Eastern European Sunday lunch. Complete with family members,  live animals, mass amounts of food and forced marriages.  Either that or the base I took yesterday had just taken affect and was laced with a new and improved hallucinogen , which makes  you feel like you’re in a different country, a different social setting ,  a different time zone and doing  the very antithesis to which you were doing before.  A Cellist and a Clarinettist are on stage. And doing bloody well.  I’m enjoying it. It’s out of the ordinary, it’s fun, its lively. Yet I’m slowly getting more and more pissed off the longer they’re on stage.  Why? Because it’s taken me 21 years of hard core day in day out masturbation to get that sort of finger speed going. THAT’S why. 
  • Bunny suicides. That is all.   
  •  So if Muse and Radiohead had a love child that could only utter the lyrics of say… Coldplay.  This would be the bastard child himself. Rather good voice though. Electro acoustic guitar (yawn) however its quite haunting.  This song reminds me of Idioteque by Radiohead .  If you don’t know it I’ll explain. It’s  one of those songs you  wouldn’t so much mind committing suicide to. With sudden jerks of vitality.  Like when your phone rings as the noose is around your neck.   
  • I feel as if my brain is dripping out of my right ear. Drip... Drip... Drip... Whats worse, I can't tell if its this song ( so depressing I'd rather watch Schindler's List on my own in a 3x3 cell with no windows and no doors. On repeat ) or whether someone's laced my drink and I'm dying. Slowly.